I am an artist. I believe so. I live my life my way. I like myself I am always ready to travel and explore new cities. It's just that I am a free bird.
Je khahni ek ese insaan ki. Jise duniya se khubsurat or khuch nhi lgta tha. Jise apne parivar ke sath rhna acha lgta tha.
Jise dar bhut jayda lagta tha. Wo kabhi akela nhi rhna chata tha. Par waqt ke sath sab badal gya.
Pta nhi q sab khuch bhut khrab lag rha ha. Pta nhi q parivar pass jane ka man nhi kar rha . Ab dar ke sath uski dosti pad chuki ha .
Or ab bo akela rhna cahata ha. Kisi se na milne ka man kar rha ha na hi kisi se baat karne ka man kar rha ha . Na cha kar bi sahi nhi ho pa rha ha . Sab use dur ho chuke ha. Sab usko kamjor smjne lage ha . Destiny bi ek tarf se pura jor lga rhi ha ki uska khuch sahi nhi hone lage.
Wo har roj marne ki duaa kar rha ha. Khud bi usne 3 baar suicide kiya par bidata ne marne nhi diya. Wo chilana chata ha. Uska ab dard ke sath gahra sbhand ho gya. Wo har roj khud ko dard dena pasand karta ha. Wo ab badal chuka ha . wo Ek irritate gusse wala khadoos insaan ban chuka ha.
Ab use khushi se koi prvha nhi ha sirf or sirf use dard chiye. WO ander hi ander mar rha ha . Wo btana chata ha use bhut dar lg rha ha. Wo nhi hi kisi ko bta pa rha ha.
रोशी तुम से मिलने कि तमन्ना अब ओर ज्यादा होने लगीं थीं । ट्रेन में तो बैठ चुका हूं । पर अंदर से ये दिल पैदल ही भाग रहा हैं। इसे लगता हैं। कि ये मेरे से पहले पहुंच जायेगा। अब इसे प्यार समझो या मेंरा पागलपन। ओर उस समय रात थीं।तो हल्की हल्की ठंड भी दी। वो रात , वो दिन को जब भी याद करता हूं ।तो एक अन्दर से सुकुन महसूस होता हे। और हां अब मैं महसूस करता हूं तो अधुरा सुकुन मिलता हैं पता नहीं क्यों। और हां में बताना तो नहीं चाहता । पर मैं उसे पहेली दफा देखने के लिए उसे पहेली बार मिलने के लिए सिर्फ ओर सिर्फ उसके ही लिए कुछ तोहफे भी लेकर गया था। पर अफसोस मुझे बड़ा दुःख हुआ। जब मेने सुबह उस बैंग में पड़े तोहफे को देखा तो वो बैंग ही नहीं था। वो बैंग चोरी हो गया था। कोई उसे उठा कर ले गया था। मुझे बहुत दुख हुआ उस समय। मै परेशान सा हो गया था। पर कुछ समय के बाद में शांत हो गया। सुबह की सुर्य की किरणें ट्रेन में आने लगी। तभी भुवनेश्वर स्टेशन पर ट्रेन रूकी। मेने वहां हल्का फुल्का नाश्ता किया। भुवनेश्वर स्टेशन पर ट्रेन करीब २५ मिनट तक रूकी।
पर मेरे अन्दर वो तड़फ ओर बढ़ने लगी। मानों सांसें भी उसको देखने के लिए मर रहीं थीं। ट्रेन ने चलना चालू किया। ओर कुछ ही देर के बाद स्टेशन ओर मेरी मंजिल आ गई। और हां दिल की धड़कन ओर तेजी से धड़कने लगीं। अब ओर इंतजार नहीं हों रहा था। कुछ समय के बाद आखिरकार वो समय आ ही गया। कि मानों सब रूक सा गया हों। मानों इस दिल ने धड़कना बंद सा कर दिया हों। ओर में घबराहट के कारण से मैं स्टेशन के बाहर आ गया। तभी उसका फोन आया। उसने मुझसे से पुछा कि आप कहां हों। मेरे तो होशोहवास खो से गये हों। ओर आखिरकार हम एक-दूसरे के सामने आ हीं गये। मुझे कुछ समझ नहीं आ रहा था।
कि मैं क्या बोलूं तभी उसने अपना हाथ धीरे से मेरी ओर बढ़ाया मैं ने भी अपनी पुरी जान लगा कर अपना हाथ उसकी तड़फ बढ़ाया। मानों मेरा हाथ उसके हाथ से मिलकर मेरा धन्यवाद कर रहा हो। मेने उसके पास जाकर उसके कान में बोला कि तुम सच में बड़ी लम्बी हों। ओर वो हल्की सी मुस्कराने लगी। तभी उसके साथ उसके दोस्त भी आये थें। उसने अपने दोस्तों से मिलवाया। ओर थोड़ी देर तक बातचीत करके हम साथ में वहां से निकल गये।
ओर फिर कभी ........!
_________________________________________________
English translation
.Meet Roshi.
cheaper-2
Roshi The desire to meet you was now becoming more and more. I have sit on the train. But from inside this heart is running on foot. It seems. that it will reach before me. Now consider it love or my madness. And it was night at that time. So it also gave a little bit of cold. Whenever I remember that night, that day, I feel relaxed from inside. And yes now I feel then I get incomplete relaxation I don't know why. And yes, I don't want to tell. But I had taken her with some gifts just for her and only to meet her at the puzzle bar to see him puzzle once. But also, I felt very sad. When I saw the gift lying in that bag in the morning, it was not a bag at all. That bag was stolen. Someone had picked it up. I felt very sad at that time. I was upset. But after some time it calmed down. The morning sun rays started coming in the train. Then the train stopped at Bhubaneswar station. I had a light breakfast there. The train halted for about 25 minutes at Bhubaneshwar station.
But she started moving towards me. It was as if even the breath was dying to see him. The train started moving. And after a while the station and my destination came. And yes the heartbeat started beating faster. Couldn't wait any longer. After some time finally that time has come. As if everything had stopped. As if this heart has stopped beating. Due to panic on the side, I came out of the station. Then his phone ring . she asked me where are you. I have lost my senses. And finally we came across each other. I didn't understand anything.
What should I say, then she slowly extended his hand towards me, I also extended my hand towards her with all my heart. As if my hand is thanking me by joining her hand. I went to her and said in his ear that you are really tall. And she started smiling slightly. Then his friends also came with her. He introduced him to his friends. And after talking for a while, we left together.
बचपन में भी अलग बात होती हैं। ना किसी डर,ना हीं किसी से कोई उम्मीद और ना हीं किसी से कोई भेदभाव। सबका बचपन बड़ा ही खूबसूरत होता हैं। और उनमें सिर्फ एक ही खूबसूरत इनसान होता हैं। हां मैं उस मां के बारे में बात कर रहा हूं। जिसने हमें सही ग़लत में पहचान बताई। जिसने हमें उठना,बैठना, खाना, पिना और चलना तक सिखाया हैं। जिसे हम पूरी दुनिया को सिर्फ अपनी मां मैं ही दैखते थें।
पर जिस दिन हम इस दुनिया में आऐ तो हमारे साथ दो ओर जीव आऐ। एक हमारा समय। जिसने हम बच्चों पर कभी रहम किया ही नहीं।दूसरी हमारी किस्मत। जिसने कभी हमें सोचने का मौका दीया हीं नहीं। हमें क्या पता था। कि ये ही दो जीव हमारी जिंदगी के महत्वपूर्ण हिस्सा होने वाले थें। इसमें हमारा भी कोई कसुर नहीं था। कि हम इन्हें जल्दी समझ ना पाये। और बताया भी तो किसी ने नहीं था इनके के बारे में। हम बचपन मैं ही सोचते थे कि ये सभी लोग हमारे जैसे ही हैं।भोले और मासुम। पर हमें क्या पता था कि जहां रहने के लिए लड़ना पड़ेगा खूद से। सच को दबाना पड़ेगा। और झूठ को उठाना पड़ेगा।
बचपन में मैंने दो बात सिखी और पड़ी कि पहली बात समय का फल मीठा होता हैं। और हम उस मिठे फल का इंतजार करते गये। हां और दूसरी बात की समय किसी का इंतजार नहीं करता । बस इन्हीं पूरे लफडो हमारा पूरा बचपन निकल गया। एक तरफ हम उसी मिठे फल कि उम्मीद में थें।और एक तरफ चूपके से समय ने हमारा इंतजार ही नहीं किया।
इन बातों से समझ आ गया था कि ये जिंदगी जिना इतना आसान नहीं हैं। जैसे रेगिस्तान में होता हैं दिखता पानी पर उसके पास जाकर देखो तो होती वो रेत है।
Even in childhood, things are different. No fear, no expectation from anyone and no discrimination from anyone. Everyone's childhood is very beautiful. And there is only one beautiful person in them. Yes, I am talking about that mother. Who told us the identity of right and wrong. Who has taught us to get up, sit, eat, drink and even walk. Which we used to see the whole world only in my mother.
But the day we come to this world, two other creatures come with us. One our time. Who has never had mercy on us children. The other is our luck. Who never gave us a chance to think. Did we know. That these two creatures were going to be an important part of our life. It was not our fault either. That we could not understand them quickly. And even if told, no one had told about them. We used to think in our childhood that all these people are like us. Bhole and innocent. But what did we know that to live where we have to fight with ourselves. Truth has to be suppressed. And the lie has to be picked up.
As a child, I learned two things and learned that the first thing is that the fruit of time is sweet. And we kept waiting for that sweet fruit. Yes and secondly, time does not wait for anyone. Just these whole words, our entire childhood has gone. On one hand we were expecting the same sweet fruit. And on the other hand, time did not wait for us secretly.
It was understood from these things that living this life is not so easy. Just like it happens in the desert, look at the water but go to it and see, it would have been sand.
Sunday, 23 January 2022
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